


Night Brings Loss

by tarachamblers



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Gal Pals (TM), Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 22:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7549753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tarachamblers/pseuds/tarachamblers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maggie and Sasha bond in unconventional ways over their losses on the night Pete and Reg die. (Platonic [romantic if you squint] canon-compliant fix-it-fic of the Sasha/Maggie S5 storyline conclusion we all deserve) Inspired by this post: http://glennrhee.tumblr.com/post/118744725613/i-just-imagine-maggie-and-glenn-sharing-the-same</p>
            </blockquote>





	Night Brings Loss

Maggie was lucky. Unlike everyone else in her family at that present moment, she had someone to sleep beside. The foreignity of Alexandria was minimally offset by the familiar warmth of Glenn snuggling into her from behind. For over a year, that had been a constant in her life. It was the only sense of security she had, out on the road. Without it, sleep didn’t come as easy.

Their entry to their new residence was a rocky one. Maggie realised that, right now, the group was at their lowest they’d ever been. When her dad’s farm was overrun, when the prison was destroyed, when Beth...they’d still always had something to fight towards: to keep each other safe at all costs.

But now they had entered a paradox. The safest place they’d stepped foot in since the prison was, no question, Alexandria. Yet, this was the most dangerous place they’d stepped foot in also. A team of battle-hardened survivors were in close proximity with the most clueless, sheltered people the apocalypse could possibly still have. She knew from the very beginning. 

Discovering Rick had killed Pete was not a shock, nor a disappointment. The only thought that crossed her mind when she stood in front of such a gory scene (Michonne stabbing Reg in the head while Deanna cried in a puddle of blood, Abraham wrapping Pete’s corpse in a sheet and dragging it away, Carol talking down the newly widowed Jessie) was surprise it had taken this long to fall apart.

Before this, the Father had led her, himself and Sasha in a prayer. “God does not deliver onto us what He does not believe we can handle. He believes us to be strong and brave. It is up to us to prove Him right.” Sasha could not stop crying. Tears dripped down her face and splashed onto the floor but she did not make a single sound. Maggie squeezed her hand.

Their praying was interrupted by the gunshot. Maggie quickly readied herself to leave and make sure everything was okay, prepared for the absolute worst. The Father stayed behind in the Church to pray some more. Sasha appeared to be of two minds; unsure of which path she should take. Maggie broke whatever stalemate she was wrestling with.

“Go back to my house. Stay with me and Glenn. You shouldn’t have to be alone anymore.”

Other any other circumstances, Sasha would have argued with her and both women knew it. She’d have defended her ability to deal with things alone, likely pushed Maggie away as she had been doing with all of the group lately, told her she didn’t need help like she told Tyreese, Michonne and Rosita...but she did need that help. For the first time since Bob died, Sasha decided to take it.

“Okay.” was all she could manage. With the undeniable courage she always presented, Sasha wiped her eyes and left the church with something she hadn’t felt in months climbing up the back of her neck and bruising across her cheeks: happiness.

Maggie ran to the infirmary before she came upon Pete. The lights were on despite the late night and if anyone had been shot they would have definitely been rushed there. She found an awoken Tara, an injured Glenn and a blood-covered Nicholas. Tara asked about Noah. Everything fell apart there in a way that tore Maggie to pieces. Both Glenn and Tara were to remain overnight under Rosita's, and (despite her reluctance) Eugene's, supervision. All of Maggie's housemates were scattered. None of them, except her, were coming home tonight.

**

Maggie was alone. Her bed was uncomfortably empty. King-sized. She was directly in the middle and felt as though she filled up no space at all. A stirring loneliness warped through her as she realised that without Glenn beside her, she was as vulnerably alone as any other person in their family. Her father wasn’t just down the hall. Beth isn’t next door. Restless, she turned onto her side. Minutes turned to hours, ticking by rhythmically.

A soft noise vibrated through the air. It was barely audible. Out on the road, noises were commonplace: crickets don’t stop chirping when the dead start to walk. There, the collective presence of her entire family was enough to create a form of cocoon. A bubble that kept everyone safe. No noise could penetrate the bubble enough to be scary. So long as they were all together, they were unstoppable.

But in Alexandria, in a spacious bedroom that made Maggie feel all too insignificant, it was terrifying. There was no Glenn behind her for comfort. No Tara down the hall. No Rosita across the landing. There was no adrenaline rush to spur her on into a fight, tearing down walker after walker. Just her. Vulnerable. Alone.

She thought of Beth and Hershel; how scary the road would have been for them. Would it have broken them so much that they seemed out of place at Alexandria like everyone else? Would they have easily integrated into the community? When Maggie thought of her sister and her father, she understood they had so much in common with the Alexandrians. All the Alexandrians had to learn was how to survive.

The sound vibrated again. This time, louder. Maggie reached for the knife she kept under her pillow. Glenn’s gun was atop his bedside table but she did not take it. Her feet slowly dipped out from beneath the bedcovers and she slinked over to the doorframe. She’d learned stealth tactics long ago.

She pushed open the door, knife poised, and the noise suddenly became much louder. Maggie understood what it was now: sobbing. Loud. Harsh. The way you cry when you think no one else is around, when no one else can see what you look like. Several times she’d walked off into the forest and lay back against a tree to cry her eyes out over Beth. The sound was identical. 

Maggie’s upright hand dropped down. There was no need for her knife.

Across the landing, a door was slightly askew. There was light pouring out from the crack, casting an illumination into the dark hallway. At the end of the hall, a glittering chandelier was suspended and dormant. The crystals shimmered in the yellow glow. Maggie approached the door and tentatively pressed two fingers against the wood to push it open.

She was lying atop the mattress, coiled in the fetal position. The shaky sobs coming from her had a far clearer clarity now. Each one struck Maggie like a blow. She felt, somehow, responsible.

“Sasha?”

Sasha stopped mid-breath and changed her cry into a cough, covering her mouth and wiping her eyes simultaneously. Facing away from Maggie, she quickly tried to conceal the fact she was upset, if only out of embarrassment. “It’s my allergies. Pollen count must be up.”

“You don’t have to lie to me.” Maggie closed the bridge between them. “I know.”

“I...don’t know what to do.” Sasha sat up as she spoke. Trails were marked down her face with tears. Her upper lip trembled. Maggie reached out and took both of Sasha’s hands in her own. She smiled.

“Talkin’ about things out loud is so much harder than just thinking about them. When you do that, you have to accept that what you’re saying is a reality,” Maggie said. “But you have to talk about them, ‘cause it gets it all out. You can accept it.”

“I don’t think I can. I don’t think I’ll ever...not feel like this.” Sasha looked up at the ceiling, tears brimming in large eyes. “No one can get past this. My father never did after my mom…”

“My dad did. I’m gettin’ there. You can too.”

Sasha dropped hands with Maggie, almost resentfully, snarling. Her grief and sadness had flashed to anger, something commonplace with Sasha recently. Maggie knew that trauma manifested itself in many different ways and through multiple emotions. This was Sasha working through it. She had to let it all out.

Heat soared through Sasha, she pushed Maggie back and stood up off the bed. A storm screamed in Sasha’s eyes. The rage bubbled up in her until it spilled over the top.

“You don’t get to say that to me. My Glenn is lying in the ground--I don’t know how many miles away. You have people. You have family. You have people who you mean something to. I  _ don’t _ .”

And then it vanished in a flash. The anger subsided and was replaced by the familiar empty feeling low in Sasha’s stomach. She began to become aware that maybe she was lashing out just to feel  _ something _ , because the rest of the time she felt as dormant as a walker. Maybe that’s why she lay down among them. Maybe that’s why she feels like she’s already dead.

Tears came again. The ugly kind no one is supposed to see. Maggie, who’d stood there unblinking and unemotional while Sasha screamed in her face, took Sasha’s hands firmly in her own. A genuine, understanding smile spread across Maggie’s face, “You’re wrong.”

“What?”

“You are my people. You are my family. You mean something to me. That’s what I meant back on the road, before Aaron.  _ We’re gonna make it. Both of us. We are.  _ We get through it together. You’re a survivor. You’re going to make it through this. You are going to survive.”

The heavy despondency pulling Sasha down like a weight slowly began to alleviate. Maggie’s words hit right in the place where she felt so empty and made it feel as though a seed had been planted there. The seed for recovery, for happiness, for being  _ okay  _ again. 

Then Sasha threw her arms around Maggie, pulling her and holding her close. Her fingers clutched the back of Maggie’s nightgown and she buried the side of her face against her upper chest. Maggie soothingly rubbed Sasha’s back with her fingers. In a broken voice, Sasha whispered, “Thank you.”

When the hug released, Sasha started towards the bed but Maggie’s grip on her hand went taut. Sasha looked back in confusion.

“I’m not sleeping alone tonight. Neither are you. C’mon.” Maggie said. At the end of her sentence, a toothy grin jumped across her face like she was a teenager again, planning a sleepover behind her dad’s back. Sasha laughed. The sound was beautiful and truly happy.

Maggie was lucky. Unlike everyone else in her family at that present moment, she had someone to sleep beside. She lay flush against Sasha, her arms cradling around Sasha’s middle. Their hands were clasped just at Sasha’s middle. They fit like two matching puzzle pieces. In her sleepy haze, Maggie wondered if Glenn always felt as protective as she did now when they slept like this.

Sasha couldn’t stop smiling.


End file.
